


From Strangers to Brothers

by reminiscence



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Frontier
Genre: Gen, Letter, Letter Collection, ffn challenge: becoming the tamer king, ffn challenge: diversity writing challenge, ffn challenge: endurance challenge, ffn challenge: valentines to white's day advent 2015, word count: 50000-99999 words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 08:19:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8155457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reminiscence/pseuds/reminiscence
Summary: They're paired up as pen-pals through a school assignment. At first, they think they're a regular pair but hints of a deeper connection begin to crawl out of their letters. And then their parents see, and the truth stumbles out. This is the tale of their reunion, told in an exchange of letters.





	1. Letter 1 - From Kouichi to Kouji

Dear Minamoto-kun,

I don't know whether I should say "dear" or not; it seems like an overly formal exchange between two elementary students, but I don't know how else I can – or should – begin a letter to a pen pal. On that point I don't know how I should address you either; I can't call you by your first name because I don't know you, and if you're older than me I should technically address you with the –san suffix, but that would wind up awkward if you happen to be younger. For that matter I can't be sure whether you're a boy or a girl (I think from the name you're male but there was a male Jun in the year above me last year, so I can't say for sure from just a name) so –chan would be highly inappropriate…especially if you happen to be older than me. So –kun seems safest for now.

This is going to make a very awkward first letter. I'd wish you had written to me first, but then you would be in my situation, and I haven't even thought about replying at this stage.

I better stop before I start going in circles. I'll ask for your forgiveness now, because that is unfortunately a bit of a habit of mine.

I suppose the point of this is for us to get to know each other better, but at the same time I don't know where I should start. I mean no offense by this, but it's not as if I can spill my heart out to a total stranger…and I doubt very much you could do the same. If we don't start somewhere though, we'll never get anywhere. And I know I'll never meet the thousand word requirement each letter if we start playing twenty questions.

I guess the basics are the best place to start then. You already know my name – unless it was supposed to be a surprise until your pen pal wrote to you for the first time – but it's Kimura Kouichi. My surname's straight-forward enough: it means "tree village". My first name's a little more complicated in terms of its kanji: the two characters that make it up are "hui", meaning "brightness", and "yi" meaning "one". The combined kanji is read as "Terukazu" normally, but my given name is pronounced "Kouichi", meaning "first child" or "first light". The second relates more closely to the components that make it up, but it doesn't really suit me.

Now…likes and dislikes I guess. And hobbies, since they all relate to an extent. I like reading, mostly fantasy and non-fiction. I like math and art as well; I'm really bad at sport and I'm not too good at science now. My teachers think though I'll be better at high school though, when the approach isn't so dry. I like playing chess as well, and rivers. And carrots and apples as far as vegetables and fruits go, and I'm not a fan of capsicum or anything too strong. Or coffee, though tea's okay occasionally. I'm also not a big fan of movies; contrary to popular belief I just think they're over too fast and too superficial. I get more out of the books. Aside from that…well, it's a very difficult thing to describe dislikes. I'll skip that for now.

So it's mini-autobiography time. I live with my mother and, up till recently, my grandmother (from my mother's side). My parents are divorced – and I know it's a taboo in society but it's hardly reason to hide from you things that are popular knowledge in school. We have no pets, although Niou visits regularly and camps out on the kitchen table most nights. I suppose you could call her our cat as her "home" otherwise is a little alley corner, but it's not official. We didn't name her either; she still has a tag although all it's got is the name. It suits her though; she's good at smelling things.

You know where I live and what school I go to (since we have to write the school name and address on the envelope, so there's nothing more to be said for that at this stage. I'm not in any clubs or anything, or cram school, so there's nothing else to be said there either.

I'm running out of things to say at this point. Maybe it's because I don't know anything about who I'm writing to – you – except maybe your gender, but I don't want to presume things at this stage.

Which reminds me, I forgot to mention that and my age. I'm male, and I'm eleven now, but I'll turn twelve near the beginning of march. My mother said she's going to get me a soccer ball – as that's one sport I can play and enjoy. Not goalie – I'm dead clumsy, but defence…where it doesn't matter where I kick the ball so long as it doesn't go into our goal. Most of the time it's out of bounds, but it resets the field so normally it's a good thing, and even when it's not no permanent harm done. I don't necessarily aim for out of bounds, but it just happens. I'm better at basketball and tennis in that sense, but I'm too small to be good at the former and wind up getting hit by the ball instead of hitting it…or ducking the ball instead of hitting with the racket. Or I'd trip going back and forth. On the whole I'm not very good at running either, and once I'm through with the double lesson I'm too tired to think about anything else, which honestly is disappointing because it means I can't enjoy a book or think of a story –

Oh, that's another thing I forgot to mention. I like writing – stories and poems I mean, this is the first time in a long while I'm writing a letter and the last one was in German – and drawing as well. That relates to liking rivers, since that's my favourite thing to draw, since it's changing all the time, looking different, but somehow the same at its core. New plants around it, a slightly different shade of water…and sadly, different debris or rubbish floating along or sinking to the bottom. On a happier note, the animals that come: the birds and the fish, look a little different by the week as well.

I guess that's it for now. I'm really sorry if I've bored you, but I had to fill up the thousand words and this isn't too far over. Anyway, I hope I've written something worth reading and I hope to hear from you soon and know you a little better by the time I write my next letter to you.

Sincerely,  
Kimura Kouichi


	2. Letter 2 - From Kouji to Kouichi

Let's not pretend to be friend of any description when I know barely anything of you and all you know of me is my name. It's rather frustrating trying to fill a thousand words when normally my greeting is a sentence or two. But assignments are assignments, and the fact that your letter didn't turn into an essay despite the hedging is some consolidation, I guess.

But I suppose a –kun suffix is the most appropriate. If we were at school together, we'd use it, and you're correct in assuming I'm male, although I have been mistaken for a girl from behind. I have a friend who claims it's the hair, but there are a fair number of boys and men who choose to wear their hair in a nondescript ponytail like my own and don't appear to have that problem.

My step-mother seems to think that will go away once I grow a little more, "fill out your shoulders and chest, and girls your age will be showing a little more curvature" or something like that. She's an odd one, shy at some times and surprisingly frank at others. And she's…nicer than I gave her credit for, I guess. Not that anyone really understands the problem with step-parents, no matter how nice they are.

As for my age, you haven't mentioned your own for any sort of comparison, but you spend an entire paragraph on the roots of your name. Surely you're aware our teachers gave us the names of our penpals, much like yours would have. And if you hadn't sent a letter within a fortnight, it would've been my job to send one back and let my teachers know so they could chase things up at your end.

In any case, you already know my name. I'm eleven years old and my birthday's March 10. Which means you can forget about any birthday pranks because the assignment will be long done by then… and my friend gives me enough of those. I probably could fill the one thousand words talking about him, but maybe I should save that for another letter.

Now…likes and dislikes? Was that a question or a thought process of yours anyway? That's not much of a sentence, though it works well enough in spoken conversation I guess. Anyway, I like martial arts. Not much of a reader and I prefer manga to stuff with lots of text, but I'd much rather watch something than read it anyway. Can't learn martial arts out of a textbook. I like maths though, or too I guess. Don't like art – too wishy-washy. Like science okay. It's not my favourite subject but it's more interesting than some of the others. History's my favourite: facts and a clear image, while knowing there are lies and undertones because history is always rewritten by the victors. I can only hope I get close enough to the truth at some point, but with art there are as many different truths as they are eyes and I find that inexplicably…frustrating. As for games, chess is an okay pastime for rainy days on the computer or playing with 'tou-san (he doesn't like sports very much) but hopeless against my friend.

As for foods… I had an aversion to anything sweet until my step-mother's apple pies. Still don't like sweet things (the apple pie being the exception). Not a fan of particularly strong flavours either, but don't mind a bit of spice. Carrots are pretty good – sweet without really tasting sweet. I do like coffee though. 'tou-san thinks I drink too much of it but that's probably a parent's thing. Caffeine ruining sleep cycles and all that. As for tea, depends on the flavour.

Mini-autobiography? Do you make it a habit of revealing so much in first meetings or was this just a case of filling up the second half of the letter with something not entirely useless? And the first thing you pick is family dynamics, at that? In any case, I've already mentioned my step-mother. She and 'tou-san married about three years ago. It was just the two of us before that. My birth mother died when I was two. I do have a pet: a german sheppard with entirely too much energy, but he's grown on me. His name's Akemi, though he's got a nose like a bloodhound sometimes. Might make a nice pair with Niou, if dogs can ever be convinced to not chase every cat they see.

So you assume I know those details (which I do) and not the name? I'm inclined to think you simply had no idea what to say and were wasting words, as it is. I suppose I can't blame you.

I do go to cram school, but unless you're a super-studier, you're not missing a whole lot. It doesn't so much as ease the process of learning as provide extra depth – depth that isn't required if you can keep up with the standard curriculum anyway. Unless you're planning on being a teacher, I suppose. Might be handy then. As for clubs, I do participate in the judo and kendo clubs. I'm vice-captain of the latter one due to my lack of people skills, but next year we'll start middle school and things could very easily change.

Eight hundred and eighty-three words. And looks like you ran into the same problem.

And you did mention your age. But not your birthday, so my earlier point still stands. Can't compare much with just a year. And that is an…interesting assessment of your skills. Though why you think tennis is good when you appear to have no concept of aim is beyond me. Not that I like tennis very much myself. I'd rather hit people directly than play intermediary with a ball.

You like writing. And yet your letter is as awkward as mine. Actually, on read through, it's a little less awkward and you did get the first move at that, so there was nothing to mirror. I'm assuming you're as socially awkward as I am then. Which I guess is a good thing, because I don't think I can handle more than one Kanbara. My experience with poems extends to receiving a few on Valentines and I can't say I write very many letters myself. Maybe that's why the schools set us this assignment to begin with. And my drawings are stick figures, though they get the points I want them to across, I suppose. I'll skip the comment about the rivers. Too philosophical for my taste.

And I think I've combed through your letter thoroughly enough by now, and passed a thousand words as well. I suppose it would be polite to leave you with a question or stem to be answered by you in your next letter as my questions so far seem to be mostly rhetoric. Okay… So… Why would you know German? That's not exactly a common language for a Japanese to know? Unless you're half or something. And… maybe we could start a long-distance chess game? It'll be an interesting switch from internet chess. Just please tell me you're not a defensive player. We'll spend the whole year on the one game if you are.

I guess I'll leave it there. I hope future letters are as easy to write.

Minamoto Kouji


	3. Letter 3 (Kouichi to Kouji)

Dear Minamoto-kun,

Umm…okay. I was kind of hoping your letter would make it easier to write back, not harder. It was certainly an interesting read, though with your confession of social awkwardness I do wonder how much of that reflects on your real life persona. It's an interesting motif, masks and personas, but I imagine it'll bore you at this stage so I'll file it away and probably bring it up if you ever remind me of it again.

Your choice of opening was…I'm struggling to find a word to describe it. My Japanese teacher would find it amusing if she knew. But a mix between amusing and somewhat confronting. Those words would be, I imagine, far more cutting if said face to face rather than through a letter. On the other hand, it shows you're not the time to tailor your answers. Funnily, that can be described as both sharp and blunt. Which do you think fits you better?

\- kun it is. I wonder if other pairs spent two paragraphs deciding on a form of address, though there seems to be more chatter about common interests and lack of letter writing skills amongst my classmates. How about your own?

Long hair? I keep mine short, though it still manages to get into my eyes at times. I wind up wearing a hat in windy weather. Is it an effort to keep tame with the wind attempting to wreck havoc, or does the wind simply prefer shorter cropped hair? My mother tends to tuck her pony tail into her shirt collar on windy days, or plait it. She'll only put it in a bun when she wears a kimono. She says buns give her a headache.

Letters with pre-determined word counts do seem to mean we say things we wouldn't say in normal conversation. Or write, to be semantically correct. But sometimes it's easier to talk about things with a stranger than someone closer. And we don't have to worry about backlashes. Rumours spreading will be the worst of it, I suppose, but nothing I've said is particularly damning or hard to find out. And my classmates are already well aware that I have a single mother and seem to think it's appropriate grounds to ignore me. I prefer that to the alternative, though I'm not sure how I've managed to avoid any physical alcerations. Its not like schools are free from such things.

March 10? I don't suppose you'd know the exact time, would you? My birthday's on March 10 as well (and really, what are the chances of that? I thought these pairings were random). I asked my mother; and she says I was born around nine in the morning. (and since you mentioned you like maths too, please don't try to actually work out the probability, in case it turns out to have been done on purpose).

A thought, more or less. Thoughts don't have to come in coherent sentences and the letter seems more and more stiff when I write as such. Manga are interesting. I haven't read very many; there's a limited selection in the local library (long stuff, like Naruto and Bleach and Pokemon), so I'd have to go to the city for something more substantial. Any particular genres you enjoy? Maybe you can recommend something.

That's an interesting way to look at history. I've never liked it much myself, but it's only because I keep on mixing facts and dates up. It feels more like rote learning than connecting ideas into a concept map, so they simply don't stick in my mind for long. One of the few times I have to surrender to the study at the last minute approach, because I simply won't remember enough to get a decent mark on the exams otherwise. And I don't particularly want to try and see if I'd pass with the normal amount of preparation. Doesn't seem worth risking a fail for, especially in the last year of elementary school.

Caffeine won't necessarily ruin your sleep cycle. It just depends on when you drink it (I think between dawn and lunch is supposed to be the safe period?) But coffee's one of those controversial things anyway. 'kaa-san says it makes her sleepy. I just don't like the bitter taste and put an unhealthy amount of sugar in it.

Filling the letter and, trying to get to know you by offering information about myself. I guess, in part, it becomes a banter system. You gave most of what I offered anyway. Everything except name meanings and you're right; that was me floundering for a conversation topic. I suppose you're not into linguistics very much. It is a somewhat frivolous thing to expend time on, but…well, I was interested.

It would be interesting to see if Niou will run from Akemi. She's an oddball at times.

It might be interesting, but I think I'd prefer a more select programme than delving deeply into all my subjects. Maybe I'll join a writing or art club once I'm in middle school. The art club here just paints t-shirts with letters. Very boring.

I hope this isn't too nosy of me, but how is it having a step-parent? I only have a very slim idea from what you've mentioned so far about your step-mother. The fact that you don't address her as 'kaa-san in your letter, and there's a level of distance or awkwardness in your sentences too, but also a level of acceptance. My mother never remarried after my parents split up, and I don't have any contact with my father. I'm not sure if my mother does, either. No-one really talks about him and I don't remember him anyway. But I have always wondered how it would be if 'kaa-san ever found another man she liked and married him, how it would be like to have a father figure in my life though that does drift further and further away as I grow older. I've pretty much discarded the idea of my father actually coming _back_. He's nine years too late and counting.

In a sense. It was also me being scatterbrained. Clumsy in both mind and body, though my mother thinks it's a sign of honesty and she likes it.

Writing fiction, to be more exact (and no, not romance; mostly fantasy and science fiction, and nature-esque poems). It's a little bit different to write about yourself outside a journal that only you yourself read. Kanbara-kun is this friend of yours you mentioned a few times?

And now to answer your questions – and you know, I've already passed a thousand words. I'm a quarter german: my mother's father. He's visiting now, though he lives in Germany normally. He came for obaa-chan's funeral. Obaa-chan was staying here with us because the air in Germany was making her lungs work. I don't know the specifics, but the air in Japan was cleaner, she said. She still died. But I learned German from my grandparents, so I can communicate with them in their mother-tongue instead of in Japanese. I have other distant relatives as well, and they don't know Japanese. It's as unusual for them to learn as it is for a Japanese to learn German.

We could play a chess game. White or black? Or should we just flip a coin for it? And I'm not about to reveal my strategy when we haven't even started the game yet. I don't know if that was sneaky of you or just an honest comment. Hopefully, we'll reach the end of this letter exchange and I'll know, because it would be a shame to exchange fourty or so letters and not know each other somewhat well by then.

And I take it you're not the type to have fancy signatures? Letter seems to end rather abruptedly without one though.

Yours,  
Kimura Kouichi


	4. Letter 4 (From Kouji to Kouichi

Kimura-kun,

…well, 'tou-san is fond of saying that I like to make things difficult. I don't do it on purpose – and I won't apologise for that reason, as well. Why apologise for something that's outside my control? This is my third school in six years and I wouldn't be surprised if we wind up moving halfway through the academic year again. In which case this will wind up even more of a waste of time, because you'll just wind up with someone else to finish the year with and the chances of me winding up with this exact project in another school is pretty slim. We've been here two and a half years though. Maybe I'll actually make it through to middle school this time.

And before you come up with any conspiracy theories, it's because of 'tou-san's work. No glamorous reasons. He gets a promotion and a transfer. I shuffle along with him and it's not like I've been leaving much behind, anyway. We brought Akemi and Satomi-san over from the last place.

And you've somehow come up with more questions. And from an opening that you rightly pointed out is quite cutting. Remind me never to introduce you to Takuya. As for your answer, I say sharp. My kendo instructor has called me blunt on occasion though, and so has Takuya. 'tou-san calls me sharp though. In the eye of the beholder, I guess. One of the reasons I don't like literature (and it sounds like you're a fan of it too. And don't even think about trying to convert me or I'll feed your letter to Akemi and tell the school I didn't receive it.)

Well, the only person I talk to about stuff like this is Takuya and he called his guy Teruo-kun (and Teruo is the guy's first name) so he's not the greatest example. And if he's rebuffed, he makes it a personal challenge to worm his way into the friendship circle. I speak from personal experience.

Are you asking me why you choose to wear a hat in windy weather? How should I know? Well, my mother wears hairpins to keep her hair tamer (she's got short hair too) but hairpins probably won't work for you.

Blame the school administration. Guess they wanted to make sure we didn't send empty envelopes or something. But the students who like art tend to complain about assignments for the same reason, and there's this one girl who always hands in essays four times as long as the upper limit allows and gets marked down for it. Sometimes, she's still the highest scoring out of all of us. Though in one of my old schools, the teacher simply stopped reading once he got to the upper word limit so she'd fail pretty much all of them on those grounds. Not that she cares to listen, with this school entertaining her.

Now you sound like the school counsellor. I am going to gracefully skip that paragraph.

We have the same birthday? You're right; the odds of that are astronomical. And I made the mistake of having an odd expression on my face when I read that so Takuya caught me. He's busy laughing his head off now.

I'd need to know what genres you're interested in to recommend you something. Though if you're fine with death and stuff, you might enjoy Death Note. It's pretty philosophical when you get down to it, and numerous masks the main characters wear. It's also one of those atypical main characters. You'll see why if you choose to read it. Around midday, I think. And I'm not that fond of math, thank you very much.

As good a reason as any to not be fond of history. But what if you put dates and exams aside? Reading stories, watching documentaries, writing essays? Though I'm only really asking because I've got pretty much half this letter to write still, word count wise. How are we going to get through another fourty-something weeks of this?

And why does an elementary school student even know that? 'tou-san admits you're right (of course I asked!) but he also said it's one of those things you tell your kids anyway to stop them from starting up coffee too early. And Satomi-san says she didn't hear that until university. And what's the point of killing your coffee with sugar anyway?

I can see that. Who uses something like frivolous in general conversation anyway? Not that we're strictly holding a conversation, I suppose.

And Niou is? My guess is a cat or a very small dog. If she's cat, she probably would run from Akemi. He's the sort that'll chase anything including his own leash.

Boring? I'd call that completely pathetic. And the lack of mention of a current writing club… Does that mean your school doesn't have one at all? Not that I should be talking. We don't, either. But I'm not interested in having one so I don't really care about its absence. The art club is a lot more diverse here. And wholly unstructured, due to the complaints about the art _classes_. You can walk in after school and do anything, from the sounds of it.

Nothing like the fairy-tales say, but aside from that, I can't really say. Don't remember my birth-mother well enough for comparison. She's nice, though. Tries too hard sometimes, like the new teacher at school who just graduated and doesn't have a clue. But she's there for my kendo matches even when 'tou-san's stuck at work, and she's never complained about having to put up with the kid of another marriage but she's not my mother. And after seven years with no mother, it's a bit hard to adjust to her. But part of it is 'tou-san, too. Never says much about 'kaa-san no matter how much I ask. I guess it'd hurt if I remembered too, but since I don't I wish he would speak a little more about it.

Sounds to me like your mother's just trying to make you feel better. Guess all parents do that. All good ones anyway, until we reach the age where we question and rebel everything and they can't pad up the world enough anymore. Won't be long anyway. We're entering junior high next year, and growing up with a single parent does come with strings attached. I'm sure you know what I mean. Hell, you're probably worse off, considering how disrespectful people can be towards women and their role in society. As if a woman's not just as capable as a man in taking care of the family.

Poems? Seriously? How can you stand them? They're so…flaky. So's fantasy for that matter, but science fiction's alright, I guess. I mostly see space stuff though. Know anything better?

So have I. Aren't we supposed to be fishing for words. So you know German. We've got some letters in German here but 'tou-san can barely read them and I can't at all. Do learn English though. Does your school teach that?

…were you accusing me of an underhand play there? It was an honest question, but I see your point. Since you didn't mention your own preference, I'll go with white and move the king's pawn from e2 to e4. You do know algebraic notation, don't you? Otherwise just draw a chessboard and send it with your next letter and we'll write/erase our pieces that way. We might need a chess board in front of us at some point anyway…assuming you're a decent player.

You call my letter's ending abrupt? You seem quite fond of fulfilling the pot calling the kettle black, you know. But what's the point of a signature. As I said, we're only writing to each other because it's a school assignment. If I was writing a love letter, it'd be a different story.

Not that I'd be caught writing a love letter.

Minamoto Kouji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is also for the Endurance Challenge, week 12


	5. Letter 5 (Kouichi to Kouji)

Dear Minamoto-kun,

Well, you seem to have a clear understanding there, enough to know what you should apologise for and what you shouldn’t. While some people wouldn’t consider it very polite, it’s far more honest than the artificial smiles and thanks and sorries people give when inside is scorn or nothing at all. Taking that further, are you the sort who’s annoyed at superficialities like that? Of course, I say superficialities but I entertain them as much as most people – in a face to face conversation, anyway. It’s so easy to clam up and, forgive me for saying this, but writing to someone I’ll probably never meet is somewhere between a face to face conversation and writing in a diary. And diaries can’t talk back so there’s a weakness there…

I’m running off on another tangent. That’s a big chunk of text there, but you’ll probably see worse from me so be prepared! And I’ll try to be more succinct – or speak my mind more clearly.

Third school in six years? Wow, that’s a lot of switching around. I’ve been at the same school…though it’s grown rather bland, after this long. Most of these people will still be with me in junior high too. Not that much’ll change with a fresh start at this point, I imagine. How do the different schools compare? You mentioned the difference in max lengths. Differences in clubs offered? More club variety? Something in particular that stood out from one school to another?

Now why do you think I’d be plotting conspiracy theories? Was I to imagine you were under witness protection or an orphan bouncing around from one foster home to another? Sure there are people like that, but the odds are a quite a bit lower. Hence conspiracy theories, I guess. That’s not an answer to my question though, so the question still stands.

Well, as I said, it comes out far less cutting on paper – and particularly with the disclaimer of awkward social skills before that. And you don’t like literature? Though you are right in that interpretations can vary quite dramatically. But that’s the interesting part – and literature’s quite a loose term, in any case. There’s sci-fi books, at least. But everyone has things they like and don’t like. And I’d rather my letters don’t wind up in Akemi’s stomach. I can’t think paper is good for animals (or people, for that matter) anyhow. But do you read horror? There’s an English novel by a guy called Stephen King that involves someone eating a novel. And I mean that literally.

Is Takuya the Kanbara-kun you mentioned in your first letter? To call him by his first name without a suffix implies you’re quite close to him, so I take it you tried to wall him and he dug a tunnel and snuck over to your side anyhow? He sounds like an interesting person. Wish there was someone like that at my school, but here people are more fond of shunning outsiders. The plus side is they don’t dig around for more ammunition – but public knowledge supplies quite hefty ammunition as it is. At least now they think I’m cursed, so they pretty much leave me alone.

Uhh…just thinking on paper, I guess. Definitely not trying hairclips – though maybe they’ll make a birthday present for ‘kaa-san. Her bangs are growing a little long and she hasn’t gotten around to cutting them.

Well, we haven’t mastered the art of fitting exactly what the teacher wants to see on paper within the word counts they give us yet. I guess everyone else is losing marks for not having everything they want instead?

Ah, good. You’re not the type to actually go calculating those odds. There’s a guy in my apartment building (he’s a year ahead of me though) who does that. And writes complex equations when building models – though the models are so detailed they probably need them.

Manga genres? No idea, really. Bleach is really long winded though the story is interesting. Yugioh’s card game isn’t well explained in the manga, though I hear there’s an anime so maybe that does better. They also sell the cards, but I’m not really into collecting stuff like that. The story might make more sense if I got that. Pokemon’s interesting too, so I guess fantasy and supernatural stuff? Not that I’ve really tried any other genre. I’ll try the library in Kyoto on the holidays. They have a much wider range – but it’s a nightmare browsing. Much easier to navigate if you know what you’re looking for.

So we were born only a couple of hours apart. Wow.

‘kaa-san works in a hospital. She’s not a health professional, but people (mostly staff and students) talk and she hears quite a bit. Students in particular sprout off random bits of knowledge. And the point is we don’t bother buying it. If we can’t manage the free sachets from the hospital cafeteria, then no reason to waste money on them.

Frivolous seemed like a good word at the time, I guess. I don’t even remember what the context was.

Niou is the landlord’s cat, but she likes hanging out with the children in the apartment and there aren’t many, so she spends a good deal of her time with me or Junpei-san. Junpei-san keeps her intertained with magic tricks…sort of. Rather, she’s entertained with the mass of string that tumbles out of imperfect attempts, but he’s getting better. He’s pretty good at card tricks though. And numbers of course.

Harsh but true, I suppose. It’s not that the school doesn’t have clubs, but none I’m interested in. Not enough people interested, I guess. Except chess club but that’s during lunch on Thursdays, so I don’t need to stay afterschool for anything. Our art classes are a little more lax. The tasks are usually: draw something in your room, or draw the first thing you remember from your trip home or something like that, so everyone’s different and they’re all somewhat personal.

It’s…good to hear that. So far, no-one who’s been interested in ‘kaa-san is fond enough of the idea of her having a son already to pursue anything, and for the most part I’m grateful – but she’s lonely, especially now.

Guess they do. Though I’m surprised to hear you say that. Shouldn’t that be my line, considering?

Flaky, frivolous. But reading them later can give an entirely different meaning and some lines are just…memorable. Science fiction that doesn’t involve space… Genocidal Organ? Though the science-fiction element here is weapons of mass destruction which is also a popular theme. Or there’s time travel – except my favourite of those is an English fantasy novel called A Wrinkle in Time. Found it at a second hand book store too. Good place to find books that aren’t in libraries.

Maybe it’s getting easier? And not particularly. I’m sorry if I came out as accusing. And yes, they do teach us the notations in chess club. I’ll move my queen bishop’s pawn from f7 to f5. And maybe later. It’s clear enough where the pieces are when only two of them have moved. Especially when we’re both more wordy than we need to be in stating our moves. And you’ll see soon enough, just as I’ll see for you.

I can’t say I’ve heard (or read) that recently. Though I wonder, why isn’t it the kettle calling the pot? And why a love letter of all the examples you could have given? Though I guess applying for jobs and asking for references is far away for us.

And now you’ve made me painfully aware of how blunt this ending looks. Any ideas on how to speed up this chess match in the opening? By the time we get to the end we might be able to predict each other’s moves – particularly if there aren’t many options available. Just as long as it’s not one of those games where the kings chase each other around the board because we didn’t realise the king and the knight aren’t enough to get the opposing king on checkmate. Not even both knights and a king can checkmate another king…which is a pity, considering what knights _can_ do.

And I just used up another paragraph trying to end the letter. Whoops.

Oh great, that’s an even worse ending. Never mind; I doubt you’ll complain.

Yours,  
Kimura Kouichi


	6. Letter 6 (Kouji to Kouichi)

Kimura-kun,

From that introduction, it seems to me you’re more one of the crowd despite your feelings on the matter. I’d say why bother but I know what my way brings and it is nice having Takuya around – despite how much he likes crawling under my skin. Still, it won’t last. It never does. If not shifting houses again, it’ll be graduation: one or another. No way we’ll be doing the same course in university. We’re just too different for that. And I’ve never met any of ‘tou-san’s old classmates so that’s another point, I guess. Even marriages don’t last. Both our sets of parents are proof of that. Maybe siblings, though I don’t have any to speak of and neither do you, so you won’t be much help in thumbing this out unless your mother has any siblings, I guess. My father doesn’t, and neither does my step-mother. And my birth mother didn’t, either.

Somehow, I don’t think you’ll do a particularly good job of that, particularly with a word count minimum over our heads. It’d be a bit annoying to listen to, but it makes the reading easier. Succinct text does wind up being quite heavy, and this isn’t an essay where you need to squeeze everything into a maximum word count as well.

Familiarity is a luxury, I suppose. New things are a luxury as well, but the grass is always greener on the other side or whatever the English proverb is. It’s a pity when nothing changes with a change, though. You think you’d leave something annoying behind and then it just follows you, but the friends you make don’t.

Don’t the ones who read a lot trend towards conspiracy theories? And depending how long it took for you to write that paragraph, you may have just proven my point.

I guess you’re right. It’s pretty different reading something than hearing it. No “umms” and stuff like that, for one. And cheaper. Can you imagine our parents complaining about the phone bill if we had to call each other every week instead? And then someone like Takuya would probably call every other day just because he could. At least letters means he has to slow down a little…and double because he has to write over a thousand words. He’s good at waffling verbally. Not so good at writing it down. I’m glad I’m the opposite. For this particular assignment, in any case.

…when did I even start calling him Takuya? That idiot… But yes, Kanbara Takuya. And he caught me face-palming and is now narrating a long introduction I’ve paraphrased for you. Though I’m sure most of this information is unnecessary, particularly considering the low odds of meeting. But Kanbara Takuya, ten years old but he’ll be eleven in August. Plays baseball and soccer but really wants a sport where all four limbs get more activity and is trying to convince his parents to let him do martial arts (even if he gets into enough trouble without that and lacks the discipline anyway). He has a bratty little brother named Shinya (who I’ve met, and he is bratty) and I think I’ll leave the rest of it out. He can write his own letter if he wants…even if he is giving me more words for mine.

People just can’t mind their own business. I get the same. Like “why have your parents only been married for three years when you’re eleven?” Like it matters to them whether it’s a case of unmarried parents or a divorce or a death. But yeah, ammunition. And people who don’t have poster-perfect houses and families on the outside are shedding lots of it, and it’s out of our control. As if the poster-perfect houses don’t have any skeletons in the closet. Takuya’s always complaining about his little brother but that’s normal and accepted and no-one thinks that’s any form of ammunition at all.

More or less. Or poor structure.

That sounds infuriating. I’d rather my life wasn’t defined so thoroughly… Not to say some definition isn’t nice. Uncertainty isn’t a very pleasant feeling. And now my father’s caught me chewing on my pen (yes, I started the letter at lunch and I’m still writing) and is wondering why two eleven year olds are talking about fate and probability of all things. Though he didn’t say it’s inappropriate. Just deep adult stuff. And he thinks it’s strange a kid would bother being so pedantic about models, too – though apparently healthier interests than some of mine (like martial arts isn’t good for the body or the soul at all…). Is he planning on being an engineer or architect or something?

I wouldn’t know. Not really interested in card games and neither is Takuya. Fantasy and supernatural… That is extremely vague, you know. Maybe works by CLAMP… but some of them are pretty long so try something short like Tokyo Babylon and see how you like that first instead of plunging straight into Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles or something. And avoid X/1999 for the time being. It’s not finished yet and has been sitting on a cliff-hanger for the last five years. A shame too. It would’ve been my favourite if it finished.

Point, I guess. Though surely the sachets would be the cheap and disgusting stuff and not giving you a true idea of how coffee tastes.

I guess I could check your other letter, but it seems like a wasted effort.

Junpei-san? I’m guessing he’s older than you from that form of address. Is this the same guy who builds models with equations or is that guy or girl smart enough to keep all windows and doors locked? I guess no-one in the apartment’s allergic to cats, then. Surely they’d make sure they were in a pet-free apartment if that’d be a problem though. Don’t know how apartments work, though. I’ve always lived in a house. Or multiple houses, really. An apartment seems rather…small. Especially for a dog as excitable as Hikaru.

I can’t imagine you being too thrilled if she did find someone, though. Regardless of who that person is, there’s the principle of the matter. And Satomi-san turned out to be patient. Not everyone will. …and look at me, lecturing. Pot calling kettle again. Never mind. It might never even matter. Besides, your mother’s got you.

Line of argument I mean? Just because I didn’t live with any women for most of my life, doesn’t mean I can’t respect them. I know what I missed, in any case. But I suppose being raised by a single mother would raise a woman’s status (or drop it if you’re the general public. Honestly, isn’t the fact that they managed a two person job proof enough?) And in any case, look at us. Two boys talking about gender roles in a letter. Another odd topic, according to my father. I’d better watch it or he’ll find himself too curious and read all these letters one day. Not that they’ll make much sense, with neither of us keeping copies of our own letters. And I only need to keep yours as long as the first physical check, anyway. Isn’t it silly that my teacher marks your letters and yours marks mine? I wonder what they’ll do with them after that. Post them back to your school? Don’t tell me my letter’s going to come back covered in red ink. Though ‘tou-san will still get half the story because then it’ll be your half that’s missing. Could try to hide them but I guess it doesn’t matter. Nothing personal in a bunch of letters to a penpal.

There is that. I’ll check in the library next time I’m in the mood for a book…whenever that’ll be.

No problem. Writing on paper can do that too, I guess. No tones to help read between the lines.

…your queen-side bishop pawn? That’s an unusual opening move, but not the worst opening move in history. I’ll move my king’s side knight from g1 to f3.

Silly idioms, I guess. Could have been if people had said it more often when the phrase first sprouted up.

Try and predict moves and make a list of possible counters? There’s a few problems with that though. WE’d be depending on an honour code for one, and second I never would have guessed you’d move your bishop pawn so early. I’d have gone for king’s pawn, queen’s pawn and/or knight moves so our overall progress would have been the same. We’ll manage at this speed. And I hope not as well. Games that get that far tend to be quite infuriating. It’s hardly necessary to kill all those pieces for a checkmate…or lose that many.

Considering my own blunt endings, certainly not.

Minamoto Kouji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for the Endurance Challenge, week 13


	7. Letter Seven (From Kouichi to Kouji)

Dear Minamoto-kun,

You know, I’ve realised we never really start with the typical “hello, how are you” spiel. Is that just a side-effect from the assignment or the fact that we’re writing letters relatively frequently – after all, we only have a couple of days to write the next letter once we receive a reply, so the timeline is actually rather tight. I wonder if the schools took into account the fact that letters aren’t delivered on the same day if they have to cross the state. It’s been doable so far, but what about when exams come up? Or other assignments? Or if either of us go away to camp or something like that.

I suppose I am. I don’t make any particular effort to stand out of a crowd, but it is both comforting and oppressing being in one. Reading out in the courtyard where other students are scattered about in their social knots, eating lunch or doing whatever is fine, but the feeling of their eyes on me isn’t a welcome one. Still, most quiet places are off limits to students or the library – and we can’t eat in the library and ‘kaa-san will be really mad if I don’t eat at lunch time (unless I have a very good reason, and I haven’t found it yet).

As for courses in university, you might be surprised. People in the same field can be quite different and it follows that people in any one cohort and course in a university could be quite different too. Otherwise the world feels like it’s been split into clones and that would be a pity. The schoolyard can be a bit like that, but even then you’ve got the leaders and the followers and the loners and outcasts etc.

My mother doesn’t have any siblings. Don’t know about my father; ‘kaa-san doesn’t like talking about him. I’ve never met any cousins or aunts or uncles though, so possibly not.

Hmm…yeah, probably not. And maybe we don’t have “umms” and “aahs” but we have plenty of erasers and lines crossing out words or letters.

I suppose it is. It’s a pity, because that means no-one will ever be truly satisfied with what they have.

Not too long. So I guess it did prove your point, kind of. But still, the likely things are more likely. Occam’s razor. Popular amongst medical students…who think the weird and wonderful things are more interesting. Though I think I’d prefer to have a garden variety cold than tuberculosis. Or not be sick at all. That works. Or doesn’t.

Between the first and second pair of letters, I think? Or maybe you’d just made a conscious effort to write Kanbara-kun the first time. And it’s interesting to hear from your friend, even if it is unlikely we’ll ever meet or converse directly. It’s a part of getting to know you, as well. And another perspective, if he offers it.

No, I suppose they can’t. So why then is it curiosity killed the cat? Cats aren’t the only animals that explore and as far as curiosity goes, I’d think human curiosity can be far more…what’s a good word here? Troublesome? Have more consequences? Crueller?

Well, he doesn’t do it all the time. It can be quite interesting if he doesn’t go overboard, but I learnt early on to never build a model with him. Too complicated. Or ask him for help in math homework… His explanations are far too long winded to make any sense of. He’s a good observer though. And he’s good at explaining science concepts in a bit more detail than the teachers give us. After all, books can’t explain themselves. One downside of them.

Unfinished for five years? Did it get discontinued or something? Okay, I’ll take a look at Tokyo Babylon and Death Note next time I go to the main library. Beginning of the school year’s a little early, still.

True enough. There’d pods of something or other too sometimes, and teabags. And a lot of sugar. Sometimes there’s only sugar.

Yeah, he’s in the seventh grade at the moment. Private school, so their curriculum is a little different as well. Same guy who builds the models. His full name is Shibayama Junpei. And I don’t know about allergies, but I haven’t heard about any problems with Niou. I don’t think there’s any apartment building who’d allow a German Sheppard in though. Small and relatively quiet animals so they don’t disturb the neighbours, since the space is small and the walls are thin. Space is actually the reason the Shibayamas moved to an apartment: Shibayama-san says a house was too big and too lonely when her husband was at work and her son at school. And this way she doesn’t have to spend all day cleaning and can work at the bakery around the corner. Of course, people comment on that too, but she only works there because she wants to so it’s more a hobby for her than a job.

Well, as you said, the situation hasn’t come up yet? I’m in two minds about it, honestly. When I was younger, I really wanted her to find someone because I thought things would be easier then. We’d be a whole family and there’d be a male in the house she could rely on and someone could worry about her instead of the other way around. But now I’m old enough that I can do some things to help and I’m not sick as often either. More a help and less a burden except burden’s not quite the right term there. ‘kaa-san says a child can never be a burden to their parents, but not every child who winds up at an orphanage does because their parents are dead? And sure, you can throw conspiracy theories in there as well, but it’s too large a number to explain them all away like that. Just another way families don’t stay together and ‘kaa-san would have been more comfortable financially if she hadn’t had me to support as well. I can’t do anything about that, though. I just have to do my best and take care of myself and work towards that time where I can help her more.

Yes, and that’s true. I suppose it is an odd topic. Then again, a good number of our topics are on the heavy side. It just seems more fruitful than talking about… I don’t know, favourite colours or something. And who can fill a thousand words on frivolous things? Apparently some of our classmates. In any case, my teacher’s already looked over your first batch of letters and you’ll get them with this letter (and we don’t have to pay the postage for the letter that’s sent with the ones they’re marking and returning. The school covers that cost and it’ll be the same for your next letter as well.) I won’t see the comments but my teacher did say we scored highly because of the depth of our conversation, so it’s worked in our favour there, at least. Or your favour if your teacher doesn’t agree with that assessment and marks me down for it instead.

No, that’d be the king side bishop. There is a reason it’s called the Fool’s Mate. And are you defending that square in front of your king? Kind of looks like it. Anyway, I move the queen-side pawn from e7 to e6. And aren’t we using the long notation? What we’ve done so far is 1. d4 f5 2.Nf3 e6. In any case, we could just attach one of those sheets and add our moves to it as we play. Might be easier, because it’ll be hard to go back and see what pieces are where once we move past the opening if we go the way we’re going now. I grabbed a spare from the chess club and filled what we’ve done so far, if that works for you.

Languages and words have evolved like that, I guess.

Yeah, that would be tricky. And reveal quite a bit about our strategies too…not that that’s a problem when it’s unlikely we’ll even finish the one game together, let alone multiples. And I did wind up moving the queen’s pawn. Just a move after yours…and surely you didn’t expect me to move it to e5 with your king’s pawn waiting. Not when neither of us have any advantage, anyway.

 

Moves become limited when there are few pieces left – but being blocked is worse, I think. Pieces on the board and you can’t move them. Especially pawns head to head blocking the castle’s mobility. Still, the worst was chasing that king around with my knight and getting nowhere.

So…Golden Week’s next week. Do you have the week off as well?

Yours,  
Kimura Kouichi


	8. Letter 8 (Kouji to Kouichi)

Kimura-kun,

I suppose we didn’t. Fine then: hello, how are you? And now that that’s out of the way…well, we could have waffled enough to fill up a paragraph each per letter, I suppose. At least we’re having a meaningful conversation in some parts of the letter, and if conventional greetings are what we have to sacrifice, then so be it. It seems superficial anyway. Do you say hello to your mother every time she leaves the room and comes back? And knowing school, they’ll probably realise that flaw when somebody gets sick for a few days or does go away to camp or something similar. There’s one in July for us. We’re going to Chūbu-Sangaku.

Comfortable and oppressing, huh. I could say pretty much the same thing for staying out of crowds. And you seriously read out in the courtyard? Why not stay in the classroom? Or are you just trying to get your daily dose of fresh air and sunlight? But isn’t it annoying when the wind blows your pages, and how has nobody snatched one of your books and thrown it into mud or a water fountain yet? Though it’s nice your mother worries about you. My step-mother does it as well, but after six years of lunch money and deciding what I wanted for lunch or whether I wanted to save it for something else (but I generally don’t; my allowance is usually enough in that aspect), it doesn’t make as much of an impression. Or maybe it’s because I’m not prone to skipping meals either.

That sounds like you’re parroting somebody else, and it can’t be your neighbour friend if he’s only in junior high. Your mother? One of her friends? Some teacher? Though I guess teachers are a good testament of that fact as well.

So you don’t look for information elsewhere? I found everything I could about my mother… but I suppose the circumstances are different. There isn’t much, anyway. Old albums and a year book, and a few certificates. ‘tou-san keeps all the official documents – birth, marriage and death certificates – in a bank so there’s no getting into that unless I want to make a career as a criminal.

Fair enough. Though that last letter of yours looks a little too neat. Did you make such a mess of it, you had to rewrite? And considering your handwriting is way neater than Takuya’s, what did you even do to it? Spill your milk all over?

Occam… what a weird name. I suppose the weird and wonderful things are typically the fatal or horrific ones as well? I think I’ll take the not-sick option as well.

Maybe. It’s really not worth looking over. Takuya is enough of a presence without going back to look.

That’s rather morbid. Human curiosity is also what brings about new inventions and means the field of knowledge is always moving. Life would be rather boring without all that.

Considering we’re supposed to be getting to know each other, we sure spend a decent chunk of space talking about our friends. Particularly after that whole thing with the greetings. But I guess knowing one’s friends is important towards knowing someone as well. On that note, do you consider him a friend? You haven’t really said so explicitly, so for all I know you could just have a mentor/mentee sort of relationship.

Kind of. It was either the magazine they published in got discontinued, or they were forced to stop because of the themes. Or both. They apparently have a set plan for the end though, since they say the anime and the movie both have different endings, and since theirs is the original story… Well, it doesn’t matter if they never tell anyone what the one true ending is supposed to be, I guess.

Only sugar? I wonder if people actually go for sugar and water then. I have heard people going for sugar and rice, and salt and pepper and rice too, so I guess it’s possible. People will do weird things if they’re hungry and nothing’s available – or they can’t afford anything fancier. But rice on its own has plenty of carbs. Does the hospital have fruits in their cafeterias as well, or just water and the tea and coffee stuff?

I suppose people wanting to move in would be warned beforehand. I guess that’s a fair point. The house is quite large when nobody else is home, but Hikaru makes enough noise for five kids those times, so that balances it out. I’d prefer the space, in the end. Everything’s spaced out here, and it’s hard to trip over anything. I wouldn’t say I’m claustrophobic per say, but clutter still makes me uncomfortable. It must be nice to have the luxury to do what you want to do without anyone depending on your income. Satomi can do that now that she’s married ‘tou-san, but I think the idea of leaving her day job makes her uncomfortable. She says she likes the job, but there’s a difference between being content and being happy after all. And I feel like that’s already come up before.

Most people wouldn’t admit that. They’d give a stance and find themselves changing it when actually faced with things. Real life doesn’t go according to a set plan, no matter how we try to make it do so. And you’re being morbid again. I’m beginning to think this is commonplace with you and I shouldn’t bother commenting. And Takuya said I wouldn’t ever meet someone more morbid than myself – but since we haven’t met yet or maybe ever, maybe he’s still technically correct.

Now they tell us that. I wondered why your letter was so thick when it came, but that explains it. A little silly how they couldn’t have told us all this from the beginning, but at least now we know how we’re getting marks for this and we’re on the right track and so nothing needs to change. I’ve got the free envelope and your old letters here, and I’m sending them with this letter. Though I imagine you’ll be less surprised to see the thick parcel in your letterbox than I was to see it in mine. You’re forewarned, after all.

These checkmates have names? Go figure, but it’s pretty easy to see why that particular one’s called the Fool’s Mate. You have to make the worst move in the history of chess to fall into that one. And maybe; I’m not giving my strategies away either, you know. But the square is protected. It’s always protected, in any case, in the opening game. There’s the king’s side bishop, the king itself, and the queen defending it…until they move out, anyway. But yes, the knight is currently placed in a way that supports that square as well. And sure, that works fine. I’m not as familiar with notation but I just grabbed a sheet with explanations from our chess club. When I told them it was for an assignment, they were more than happy to provide the explanation for beginners – and try to convince me to join. If I wasn’t already in clubs, then maybe. Or maybe not. I guess I don’t really need to know the names of different checkmates and openings.

I suppose they have.

Hmm, that’s true. Hopefully we’ll finish this one match this year. It’ll be annoying to leave it unfinished. And who knows. Some people do like to trade queens and knock them both out of the game early.

You’d rather be trapped than have all the space in the world, and I’m the opposite. Funny how the chessboard can reflect our personalities as well.

Of course I do. Who goes to school in Golden Week (except clubs and stuff – and that’s how I got your letters; everyone else has to wait till next week)? ‘tou-san’s stuck working though. Not planning on doing much though. Takuya’s dragging me to the festival and that’s enough. In the meantime, there’s a kendo tournament coming up and the weather’s nice. There was also a marathon run set up with a few different classes, and I signed up and went along (I don’t think they were expecting me to). Hikaru ran part of the way too.

Of course, by the time you get this letter, Golden Week will be over. Do anything in it?

Minamoto Kouji


	9. Letter 9 (From Kouichi to Kouji)

Dear Minamoto-kun,

It shouldn’t be so easy to pick out sarcasm from a letter. Either you’ve poured quite a bit of yourself into the four letters you’ve sent so far or you just made it that obvious. But that was more an observation than anything else. We’ve managed eight letters between us (including this one, since you did have that greeting in the last) without the need for “hello, how are you” so I think we can get away with skipping it at this point. Because replying “I’m fine, how about you” seems equally sarcastic.

It might be my week to write the letter, otherwise I guess you’d better check with your teacher. And Chubu-Sangaku? The National Park? That’ll be interesting. Are you the sort who takes lots of pictures?

Classrooms are pretty noisy to, and I sit near the front so there’s always someone running into my chair when horsing around. That and it feels weird to read books for leisure in the same place I read books to study. And fresh air (though I do have a window seat, so I’m not exactly short on it). I’m not a big fan of the sun, but unfortunately life can’t go on without it. Sitting against the wall usually means the shade’s a permanent thing. I sit under trees in winter when I don’t expect it to start raining though. The breeze is nicer there.

I wouldn’t say I’m exactly prone to skipping meals. It’s more that I get caught up in something and merge them together, because a late lunch winds up too close to dinner…except ‘kaa-san is very strict about eating three meals a day at reasonable times. As long as a healthy balance of nutrients and stuff gets into you, I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end.

A friend of ‘kaa-san’s. They’re so different, but they work together. But teachers certainly are – though teaching different subjects and different classes has a role to play there as well. No two working environments are quite the same, after all.

…no, not really. At first, I just kept hoping my father would come…and then afterwards I gave up on him. He’s left us alone too long to be welcome now. But as you said, that could change if the two of us ever do find ourselves face to face. For the marriage certificates, there are registries, aren’t there? Maybe there are registries for the others as well. Something that important wouldn’t have just a single official record. Not in this day and age with all the databases and computers around, anyway.

Yeah, I did have to rewrite that. I’ve no idea why myself. My handwriting is usually way better than that, even when I am in a rush (and somehow your letter wound up a little late and I only had a day to send it off). And then when I finished my letter and was looking over it, I couldn’t read parts, so I rewrote it while it was fresh in my mind and snuck the homework I should have been doing into next day lunch. Had to rewrite two of those answers too. Someone ran into my chair again. I’m writing this letter slower; less likely to need a rewrite that way.

Either that or completely inconsequential. Not every abnormality is a disease after all. Some of them just go towards differentiating between people, since normal is the majority and all.

I guess those species without free will wouldn’t worry about boredom so much… but then that’s getting into existential questions, and that might be best left alone at this point. Existential stuff can be pretty depressing, when you wonder what role you have to play in the grand scheme of the world, when the world’s just so big…

I guess we do. Yeah, Junpei-san’s a friend. He’s rather lonely too, which is a shame because he’s a nice guy. I think people just don’t see enough of him and wind up judging wrongly. And it doesn’t help that he trips over his tongue in front of the girl he has a crush on, and she’s the sort who wants a frank and honest word and can’t stand stuttering or excuses. Which is fair enough and he wouldn’t normally give him, but he’s nervous when he sees her and it turns into a bit of a mess. From what you’ve said, I think she’d like Kanbara-kun though. And since he helps me with my homework, I guess we have a mentor/mentee relationship as well. All I do with his homework is check for spelling errors.

That’s a shame, it being stopped for whatever reason so close to the end. And that’s true. No hint of anything on forums or official content? That implies they do plan on continuing – but five years is a long hiatus, especially when still counting…

No idea, honestly. They do have fruit sometimes: when there are Grand Rounds where doctors present interesting cases, or seminars with lots of guests, but generally not. Sometimes people bring things though: cakes for birthdays, for example. And sometimes the hospital provides food for the students, like in orientation or after exams (wish the school fed us after exams). But even if things run out, they’re filled again by the next day so it’s not a long wait. That’s part of ‘kaa-san’s job, to do the filling once all the students and day-staff have left.

Guess so. Never really thought of it before. Guess I’m too used to Niou’s presence.

I’m not morbid…except with certain topics, I guess.

And you’re right about that. Actually, it didn’t fit into the apartment letterboxes, so the postman left it with the landlord instead. Niou was sitting on it. Luckily, the packaging was pretty thick and all the letters were safe.

Some of them do. Don’t know if there’s a name for every possible checkmate, but ones like the Fool’s Mate and Scholar’s Mate describe a whole game, while others like the Back-rank mate just talks about the position of certain pieces and there are lots of openings and middle-games that can lead to that end-game. Scholar’s mate is four rounds, so a minimum of seven moves. Even experienced players get caught here, if they don’t recognise it. Queen and king’s side bishop both attack the square in front of the opponent’s king side bishop, and then the queen moves in. King can’t capture the queen because the bishop is defending it, and even if the king has moved its king or queen side pawns, those spaces are still illegal for the king to move while the queen there. If you haven’t moved your king pawn but only the queen one, then there’s a backdoor exit. Or you could move your king-bishop side pawn one square to make it harder for the queen to get in there, or use the king-side knight to block. Those are the two common blocks, but then not everyone opens with a move to make that possible (since first move has to be moving the king’s side pawn out of the way to mobilise the queen and the king-side bishop). There’ also one called a smothered mate but I’ve never seen it on an actual game. Aside from the knight that’s attacking, the rest of it is the king trapped by its own henchmen. There’s also a Legal Trap which can follow a queen’s trade… You can probably see why it’s called that. That’s all I can think off at the top of my head, but there’s definitely more. It’s just a shame a king and a knight can’t manage a checkmate when a king and another piece usually can. Even a pawn! That’s unfair.

Oh, I dunno. It might be a good thing for a match to last a while…or we’re just making poor moves because of the time difference between moves.

Uhh…no idea. We participated in a localish chess tournament and exhibition. A few nearby schools were involved as well, so I did wind up playing more chess. We had to avoid all the quick kills like Scholar’s Mates since it was an exhibition as well. Drawing out matches while still winning and not making it obvious is pretty tricky. We came in second overall, and they didn’t bother with individual medals because too many people won all their games (not me though; I drew one because we wound up trading too many pieces). There wasn’t enough time to taper that down and teach the younger kids and any interested parents as well. Aside from that, there was the festival of course. I didn’t wind up going. I think I came down with something after or during my last letter, and it still hasn’t quite gone away. I’ll blame my poor handwriting on that bug for the moment, though all I really am is tired and a little dizzy. School is exhausting while feeling not a hundred present and after a holiday to boot. Aren’t holidays meant to refresh?

So yeah, that’s Golden Week. The chess at the beginning, then catch up on reading and sleep in and wind up sleeping more than usual without much benefit out of it. Hopefully the fresh air at lunchtime and the walks to and from school will clear that up. Good thing viruses or whatever this is won’t hop through the mail and attach itself to you. One benefit of a pen-pal.

Yours,

Kimura Kouichi

 

 

 


	10. Letter 10 (Kouji to Kouichi)

Kimura-kun,

This is slow handwriting? It looks messier than usual, but it’s readable, I guess.

With that out of the way, only a blind person wouldn’t have picked up the sarcasm there. How else would you translate that, in the context it was in? But yes, I will gratefully skip resemblances of tedious pleasantries with every letter if I can get away with it, and if there’s a problem, I’ll just say you were the one who skipped out on the usual societal politeness first.

I checked. It is your week; apparently the school scheduled it that week on purpose. So they do plan ahead – or they’re just saving face. One or the other. It’s a bit hard to tell without evidence and their expressions don’t give much away. Guess they have to have good poker faces with students. And be good at reading poker faces too. And no, I’m not really the picture type. Takuya is though. He takes multiples of everything and his mother only keeps the good ones, so I can send some of the spare ones to you. She throws the rest out, otherwise. A waste of printing them, but it’s an analogue camera so can’t really pick and choose what to print.

You don’t tell them to stay away from your chair? Or does that happen to anyone in the front couple of rows, regardless of who they are? And reading in the dark isn’t good for your eyes, you know. You don’t want to start wearing glasses already, do you? I’ve resigned myself to them since my father and stepmother both do, but I’m trying to hold off as long as possible and that means avoiding the instant-killers – like glaring into suns or straining eyes in the dark or spending too long in front of computer screens.

That sounds like skipping meals to me, but whatever you say. I’ll just say “I told you so” when you faint from anaemia. Who knows; that might be the reason you were feeling tired during Golden Week. And after having a parent who works in the hospital, shouldn’t you know this stuff better than me?

Very true. Even different teachers which teach the same class in the same subject will have had different classes previously… Although the only time we get multiple teachers in one subject is if one needs to take leave or we have a student teacher.

I understand. I kept on thinking my mother would come home too. The difference in my case is that she’ll never come back and it’s not because she wants to or doesn’t but because she can’t. Can blame someone for not coming back if they’re alive, but really can’t when they’re dead. Or I can’t. And as for not coming back… I’ve left my fair share of friends. There wasn’t much I could’ve done to stay in contact with them, but there were letters and phone calls and emails… It just wasn’t worth the effort for school friends that would almost certainly drift apart with distance. I don’t even remember any of their names anymore, so that shows how important they were to me…or weren’t.

That is weird. I’d have asked if you needed glasses or something but eyesight problems – of those sort – don’t come on that quickly, do they? It might still be a low blood sugar from not eating properly, or anaemia or something. Or food poisoning, or a bacteria or virus or something. Have you gone to the doctor’s yet? Of course, with the week waits, you’ll probably be all better by the time you read this and it’ll wind up a moot point. Oh well. Let me know in any case.

That’s true. Things like Takuya’s hyper-personality – or maybe not. He says he needed pills when he was younger, but he’s outgrown them. But still keep him away from soft drinks and coffee. And look at me, telling you as though you two are going to meet soon. The odds are the same as they always were.

Yep, that’s too far into existentialism, so we’ll both stay right out of that for the time being. Unless one of us has a mid-life crisis about thirty years early.

Knowing him, he probably would. And then get into fights for being too frank. But the chances of those two meeting are rather slim too, and maybe Shibayama-kun’s tongue will stop twisting in front of her and she can make a more educated decision as to his merit. Or maybe she’s not the hot-stuff she appears to be. Any number of things can happen. And you read his homework for spelling errors? Is he that bad at spelling?

Wonder why they’re called Grand Rounds. Weird and wonderful stuff sneaking into the title? And I wonder how they afford to keep their students fed. Higher feeds in university, or dipping into club funds or something? I hear it’s compulsory to pay some sort of fee for the student union above and beyond class and administration fees now. It wasn’t like that when our parents were at university.

Guess so. It’s only important if someone with bad allergies shows up, I guess.

Certain topics? I don’t know if morbidity can be compartmentalised like that, but if you say so.

That’s a fair amount to remember off the top of your head. So Fool’s mate is the shortest, followed by Scholar’s mate and even semi-experienced players can fall to a Scholar’s mate if they’re not on the lookout. I wonder how many times I’ve pulled that trick without even realising it. Yes the Smothered mate sounds like a complete pain, but I think something like the Legal Trap is worse, because both players lose a huge player and wind up squabbling with minor pieces. It’s like throwing away the foils in a fencing match and using your nails. You seem rather fond of the knights. Guess I know which pieces to watch out for in our match – assuming I remember this long enough. In any case, the Legal Trap sounds like back-alley market trading. Not as illegal as the Underworld, but still frowned upon. Or the Red Light District.

Like not falling for that Fool’s mate, you mean? Fair point. That would have been disappointing – and rather pointless, waiting four weeks for a match to end just like that. It’s still rather tedious though.

Of course not. A chess tournament huh. Sounds like fun. There was a Go tournament in our area but we didn’t bother going to that. Some other classmates did, and the school’s Go club. Did you miscalculate how many pieces you’d need to perform a checkmate because you needed to stretch it out, or is this a common occurrence with you? Is this why the king and one knight impossibility of a checkmate thing keep on cropping up? And they definitely are. You’d better get well soon, otherwise school is just going to drag you down or you’ll miss something.

You know, when I said I could read your handwriting, I meant everything but the last paragraph. Your handwriting’s gotten steadily more cramped and I can’t make out this paragraph at all. Something about golden week maybe, but you covered that last paragraph so I think I missed something. If it’s important, rewrite in the next letter? If it’s just a wrapup, forget it. I can do without. We skip greetings, after all.

Minamoto Kouji

 


	11. Letter 11 (Kouji to Kouichi)

Kimura-kun,

How come I didn’t get a letter from you? It probably just got delayed in the post, but since I do have to write this letter now, the reply will have to wait till the next post…

In the meantime, I have to write a thousand and something words without much to reply to. I don’t know if it’s better or worse than the situation you found yourself in when you found out you’d be writing the first letter.

Takuya just developed his latest roll of photos, so there’s something. A lot of the pictures were of baseball or the festival, so I grabbed throwaways of both. And now you can see what Takuya looks like for yourself. And I’ve numbered them as well. That way I can explain what the photos are and use up a couple of hundred words (or maybe more).

Photo one is a full body shot of Takuya in his new baseball uniform. The old one was too tattered and so he threw it out, and it was a good time for a new one, at the start of the New Year. He’s a pitcher, mostly, though he winds up batting if they get far enough in an inning. He’s not wearing his trademark hat or goggles, so you can get a full view of his hat-hair this way. And, of course, that cheesy grin of his is entirely on display.

Next few images are of Takuya’s little brother, Shinya. The first one is playing a video game. Apparently this one was after a typical sibling quarrel between them. Takuya stormed out, got stuck in the rain, and Shinya came after him with an umbrella and they made up and Takuya let Shinya play his game. I can’t say I really sympathise with either of them, since I only have to share my games if Takuya comes over, and we stick to two player games then anyway.

Photo number three is Shinya-kun again, but this time with a friend of his from school. His name is Himi Tomoki, and he’s also got an older brother. It’s another one of those grass is greener on the other side situations, but they’ve tried swapping brothers before and it was odd, from what I understood. Himi-san and Takuya are very different, and it threw Shinya especially for a loop. And I think Himi-kun found things rather different without Shinya-kun to act as a mediator between them.

Photo number three is a baseball game, but at the local part and involving the entire Kanbara family (guess who took the photo for that one?) Takuya and their father are pitching. Shinya and their mother are batting. The parent team won by a landslide there, but this photo was taken when there was still some hope remaining.

Photo number four is one of the parents’ birthday party (I forgot which one). Everyone’s covered in cake and I was tempted to not put that in at all, but of course Takuya knows what I’m doing and insisted on this one. He says people know other people best in moments of silliness like this, and other extreme situations: fear, failure, near death-threats etc. Which I guess is true, but that’s not really the goal here. In any case, it’s pretty one-sided at the moment, unless you or your friend Shibayama-kun take lots of photos and send the spares along.

Photo number five is Takuya chasing his camera. It looks rather silly, but somehow Shinya managed to get two shots of Takuya diving through the train doors. Naturally, he got bruises from it. But he got his camera back from Shinya too. Not a whole lot of space to run in a train carriage.

Photo number six to ten are from the baseball game just before Golden Week, mostly by his mother. These ones are extra blurry because she doesn’t take quadruplicates of everything for no reason like Takuya and Shinya both tend to, but you can still see what’s happening. Six is the team in a pre-game huddle. Since they’re all wearing their helmets, you might not be able to pick out Takuya based on the previous photos. He’s the one in the bottom left hand corner. Photo number seven is Takuya in mid-pitch. Photo number eight is his one and only chance to bat the entire game. Photo number nine is someone from the other team hitting his ball (I can’t remember who, and Takuya can’t make it out either), and number ten is their victory huddle (top left this time).

The rest of the photos are the festival. Photo number eleven is Takuya and I on the steps in our yutakas. Photo number twelve to fourteen are some of the stalls. Sorry they’re mostly food. You can guess what Takuya was most interested in. But there were other stalls as well. Mostly selling trinkets of some sort of other. There were the new digimon trinkets so a lot if kids brought a Gatchmon or Cameramon – but not Takuya. He’s waiting for another fire-breathing lead and Gatchmon is too academic. I don’t bother collecting them myself. I have a WereGarurumon and Takuya got me a MirageGaugamon at some point because they look kind of similar in the whole blue wolf on two legs theme, but I don’t have any others aside from that.

Next are a few games. They’re mostly silly shots of Takuya but I included them anyway since they do show off the games as well. Netting the fish, shooting the cans down, throwing the beanbag… And the last one is him dancing. Despite the picture, he’s not a poor dancer. It’s just hard to press the shutter at the right time with him constantly on the move.

And finally, the fireworks. Though the photos don’t do them justice. They’re a lot brighter and louder in real life – but you don’t like bright things anyway, do you? Dunno if you’ll find a photo of fireworks any better though.

So that’s the photos. Otherwise, nothing much new. We’ve been back at school for two and a half weeks after golden week, and getting ready for our camp. And almost as soon as we come back, it’ll be first trimester exams, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. There’ll be people either studying or freaking out on the bus ride back and I should probably work out what subject would be best to take along to study when bunkmates’ snorings will keep me up. Takuya is one thing; I’m used to him. The rest of my classmates are an entirely different thing and what are my chances of winding up with seven non-snoreres and Takuya?

Also, I can’t remember if I never asked/hinted or you just never mentioned it, but do you guys get a long field trip as well? And speaking of field trips and psychological ones, Takuya recommended one called Another and it’s got both. A class at a school is cursed, and part of the curse led to students dying on a field trip, so that year doesn’t go on field trips anymore. It’s actually pretty interesting, though the psychology of the human condition can be somewhat uncomfortable to witness. More supernatural than fantasy though, and not even much of that except for the roots of the curse. Not a hundred percent my cup of tea either, but it was pretty interesting.

And thank goodness for those pictures. Don’t think I could have managed this otherwise. I’ll have to let the teacher know I didn’t get your letter, but I do hope it was just stuck in the post, considering your last letter. If not, hopefully you’ll get better soon. Bugs shouldn’t last for almost a month, surely.

Minamoto Kouji


	12. Letter 12 (Kouichi to Kouji)

Dear Minamoto-kun,

My handwriting's as bad as my last letter, unfortunately, but the doctor said my eyesight should be back to normal well six months –

I should probably start from the beginning.

It was about a week and a half before Golden Week where I realised my eyesight was more blurry than normal, but it does that when I'm tired or coming down with the flu and I was feeling more tired around then as well. So aside from the chess competition, I was pretty much resting through Golden Week…but the rest didn't help much. Then when I went back to school after Golden Week. By Wednesday, it got worse and my eyes and head and neck were all hurting too, so the nurse called 'kaa-san to pick me up and 'kaa-san took me to the doctor for a check-up.

He asked a bunch of questions which led all over the place trying to decide what the likely problems were. Said something about me being too young for things like strokes to be very likely, but I think that freaked us out more than calmed us. He did a few eye tests too, and he said my pupils were dilating in front of light instead of constricting, and my nerves looked puffy. Did you know you can see a nerve when you look through the eye? Of course, you probably need that slit lamp or the hand-held one (forgot its name) to actually be able to see. So then he took photos of my eyes and did a few other things, but there were so many flashing lights that I wound up with a migraine and don't remember much else. It took pretty much the whole next day for that to go away. They did other tests in the meantime (all I know is the blood test, but that's because I had the cotton wool still taped to my arm afterwards) and when we went back to the doctor's that afternoon, he said it had been a viral infection after all, but it had caused something called optic neuritis which sticks around for a while after. They did a few more tests after that: a visual field thing where I click buttons on the computer when I see a black square come up, and an MRI which you might have found claustrophobic. You have to lie still for quite a while and it was pretty boring, but it came back clear except for the inflammation around the nerves.

He gave me antivirals to get rid of the rest of the virus – though after more than two weeks, it was on its way out anyway, but the optic neuritis. So I'm on steroids for that too (and they have to be by needle, which isn't very fun) and my eyesight's stabilised for the time being, but it's still pretty bad. The doctor said it should start improving in another five weeks and be back to normal within six months. He did also say around five percent of people can wind up with permanent eye damage, but I'm trying to ignore that. Ninety-five percent is good odds.

Junpei-san had to read your letters out to me. I'm sorry about that, but my teacher said to get someone to read the letters to me so I can reply to them until my eyesight is better. And assignments and textbooks and schoolwork as well. My handwriting's still readable for the most part even when I can't really see what I'm writing, so that's one good thing. They want me as up to date with things as possible so I don't have to catch up on too much once I am back to a hundred percent (and I'm not particularly patient, overall, so here's to hoping that'll be soon). Luckily, these letters are read by teachers anyway and so aren't as personal as…well, personal correspondence. Still, I hadn't expected there to be photos in it and just assumed you'd split my letters between the two envelopes.

Speaking of the photos, I haven't seen them yet, but Junpei says there's a picture with me with long hair in there. Do you know what he's talking about? I don't remember sending any photos to you, nor have I ever kept my hair long. There are also lots of shots of a boy with brown hair around our age. I assume that's Kanbara-kun? Junpei-san likes the idea, and says he'll try and find some photos of both of us that might be interesting. Do you have an email? He has a digital camera so his photos are on the computer. Otherwise, we can get them printed.

And thank you for the photos and the stories behind them! Junpei-san enjoyed the photos, and I'm sure I'll enjoy them too. I certainly enjoyed the commentary, and appreciate the difficulty of having to write a letter with nothing to reply to. The photos were a clever conversation point.

Our field trip's to Tokyo: the tower, the bay, and a few other places nearby. It's in the second trimester though. In September I think. We don't really start planning until after the holidays. And that does seem like a poor time, but at least it doesn't eat up your holidays instead. Will there be any time to recover from the travelling and trip, or do you get back on Sunday and exams start that Monday?

The rest of this letter will be responding to the letter before the photos one.

So it's my week to write the letter while you're away on camp. That means you get exam week and I get the holiday week this time. The last one's fair, but writing a letter while frantically studying for exams doesn't sound very pleasant.

Everyone in the first row, and less to me since I'm in the corner next to the windows – unless something exciting is happening in the courtyard. Are you trying to ask if that's a case of bullying? I think we've already had this conversation, but it's really not. It's more a case of classmates being rowdier at lunch time and death glare effectiveness not carrying over to the next day – and I can't muster up a convincing one unless I'm really annoyed.

Well, it wasn't anaemia and I still eat well balanced meals. In any case, my mother doesn't allow me to skip meals so the whole argument is moot. Though I did have to go to the hospital for that MRI.

Maybe it's just easier to put blame on less absolute things. There could be a number of reasons and most of the time, I jump to the one that places him as the villain in mine and my mother's minds. But I can't seem to justify not even keeping in contact at all. It's not like he's been kidnapped by the Yakuza for the last nine years – because the odds on that are pretty crazy. Junpei-san thinks he can rustle up a number and I might let him. Easier than trying to convince him otherwise.

I think my father wore glasses, but 'kaa-san doesn't, and not all eye conditions are genetic anyway. I've got good night vision; it's actually easier for me to see in slightly shady areas than outside in the sun, what with glare and all. Or was. Now I need extra light and it doesn't work too well with my pupils still dilating when they should contract and threatening to give me more migraines. I did inherit that from 'kaa-san (or it's environmental or a coincidence), but hopefully they won't be a regular occurrence.

...you know, I've completely forgotten what conversation thread Takuya's hyper-personality related to.

That and he has a tendency to overcomplicate things when it comes to oral presentations as well. But he's really good at maths. And physics, but we don't do much of that yet. His father said he'd spend too much time taking apart electronics and engines and the likes. When computers get cheaper, he'll probably dismantle one of those too and that'll be pretty cool, considering all the things a computer can do.

Not always, but I think that's the general idea. Sometimes they're just review topics as well. Maybe those ones are because students have exams coming up?

Maybe it's more that I'd rather not consider myself entirely morbid, but I guess it doesn't matter. Unless it's a factor in my…oh, I don't know, hypothetical depression or something. The questions are so frank, you know. Do they get honest answers with them? But it's still used in hospitals and with doctors and stuff, so it must work.

It's chess club. They drill this stuff in, just like classes drill stuff. Scholar's mate is one of my favourites because it provides a foundation – and you can retract your queen if it's gotten too messy while having not lost much, since the opening's still in progress.

Go huh. Is there a Go Institute in Shibuya? I know there's one somewhere in Tokyo, but not too sure where. It's interesting, but you can't get a quick game out of it like with chess and all the pieces are equal until they enter the game. It's less about moving pieces but building them. Still, interesting. Once a piece is down unless it's captured, it's stuck, but its situation can still change.

Since I have no idea what was in the last paragraph, I really can't rewrite it until they're sent back, but I'll assume for now it's just a wrap-up. I think we've covered everything from my last letter and thensome.

Sorry again for the late reply!

Kimura Kouichi


	13. Letter 13 (Kouji to Kouichi)

Dear Kimura-kun,

I’m – well, the socially appropriate thing would be to say “I’m sorry to hear that”, spew a few more worthless words of sympathy and then change the topic entirely, right? It seems completely ridiculous in a letter you won’t get until two weeks later anyway (since I had to skip the week we were on the trip), so I’m going to skip all that, add a potentially useful or potentially not “good luck”, and ask how things have improved by the time this letter reaches you. And that is a question, mind you. Ignore the fact that there’s no question mark at the end – though I guess that doesn’t matter if your friend Shibayama-san winds up reading this to you. Unless he’s doing voices like when someone reads a kid’s storybook at reading time in the library…

I tried to write bigger anyhow. I don’t know how well that wound up working. Entirely wrong perspective, after all. I considered having Takuya pen the letter instead (I help him enough with his homework that he can help with mine once in a while) but his handwriting’s messy as well as big, so it probably won’t be effective. Also considered having ‘tou-san try to read without his glasses…but there are a few reasons I didn’t and not wanting to share with my parents is actually on the bottom of the list. I’ll get to that in a bit though.

Considering Takuya’s been reading my letters for weeks now (and I’m afraid I couldn’t have stopped him unless they were to my mother or something – he doesn’t know the meaning of personal space but he does have tact). And your handwriting’s gotten a little bigger and messier than the initial letters, but far better than the last couple and perfectly readable. Actually, it was ridiculously neat before. Were you taking extra time with your letters or is this a side-effect from writing often?

I guess there’s nothing we can do about the photos right now. Having someone explain them really doesn’t do it justice, but I emailed Shibayama-san on the address you gave me and he emailed some photos back – and that’s part of the reason I didn’t want ‘tou-san reading this letter in particular. Your friend is right. Or kind of. All those pictures are definitely me, but we do share a lot of features (based off the photos Shibayama-san emailed to me anyway). Hard to judge colour in different types of photos and different lighting, but blue eyes, black hair, and our faces look pretty similar too. I’d say exactly the same, but Takuya didn’t mix us up so there must be something different. He was more: “hey, that guy looks almost exactly like you. He could be your twin.” Granted, if he met you on a street somewhere, it might be a different matter.

Well, that was the first half of what I wanted to tell you this letter. The second part was a few letters ago, I think. Remember how you mentioned the marriage records? Well, I looked into them, and it turns out my mother has the same maiden surname as you. Did you tell me your mother’s first name? I can’t remember, but here’s a conspiracy theory brewing. Entirely Takuya’s fault, by the way. Because I don’t want to think my father’s lied about my mother being dead all these years…but I should still consider it, because it is remotely likely. I wish we hadn’t returned the letters now. Could’ve just checked, but I guess I have to ask you again now. What’s your mother’s maiden name? And on that note, did your mother keep your father’s surname, or revert back to her maiden one? And I’m sorry if this is getting personal, but you know how it is. Conspiracy theories need to be proven false because they can be laughed at and I can get any peace of mind.

And now that that part of the letter is out of the way…

Now that is a wild conspiracy theory. Kidnapped by the Yakuza? Really?

So you were an owl in your past life instead. Fair enough, if a pity since owls don’t make for very effective people. Could be worse though. You could have been reborn from a bat. Or as a bat. Uurgh. And why am I even talking about animal reincarnations? Though, on that topic, Takuya’s convinced I was a wolf of some sort and I can’t come up with any decent arguments to off-set that.

Well, my father wears glasses. Another point for the conspiracy theory, but so do a lot of other people, I guess. I don’t even know, now. It’d be great if my mother really is alive… but aren’t I getting my hopes up? And I’ve never thought about siblings at all. That’s…a whole different ballgame. And in any case, I’m running off ahead. All of this might turn out to be entirely irrelevant (and I’m going to roast Takuya for putting the idea in my head in the first place!)

Me too. Knowing Takuya, it could have been literally anything.

Well, at least he knows what he likes. It’ll probably come in handy for career planning and all that. Even selecting subjects…when we’re in a high enough grade to actually select subjects, and maybe do away with a few of the intolerable ones we’re stuck with as well. And the people who aren’t interested in them and waste everybody else’s time (or who just aren’t interested but at least know not to interfere with the learning of others).

Either that or they don’t have anything better. It’s pretty easy to lose the original question if you pad it enough. But doesn’t asking if a person’s suicidal put the idea in their head if they hadn’t thought of it before? On the other hand, they might give something away in their body language. Honest confusion is a very different look to the hand caught in the cookie jar one.

No, it’s in Ichigaya. It used to be somewhere else, but I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to that stuff. It was interesting enough for a visit, but the Go Institute is really for professional Go players who are looking to make a career out of it at the very least, and become famous people with lots of titles otherwise. Aside from playing Go there though, there’s a Hall of Fame, a museum, and a shop with stuff sold there. There were tsumego (life and death) problems in a few of them. The sort of problem where there’s a part of a game or a game in a certain stage and you have to either save a cluster or stop it from being killed. Kind of like those chess puzzles where you have to achieve checkmate in a certain number of moves. There’s one of those at the back of one of Satomi-san’s English novels. Alice in Wonderland, I think. Something fairytale-esque.

And finally, our trip. First and foremost, it was cold. Ridiculously cold. And Takuya used up an entire role of film so there’ll be more photos at some point or other. Aside from that, it wasn’t too interesting. Lots of animals in the national park, but that’s kind of what you expect. Some people were enthusiastic, but the rest of us oohed and ahhed and then grumbled over the distance and the cold and the timing. And a fair few people brought study materials since exams are this week. You lucked out. Writing a letter during exam time is a nice break on Takuya’s end, but this one was a little too heavy to be relaxing, per say.

Not that you’re not good company, I mean.

Minamoto Kouji


	14. Letter 14 (Kouichi to Kouji)

Dear Minamoto-kun,

This is the first time you’ve used “dear” to start your letter to me, you know? Does this mean you were worried? Or have I managed to crawl under your skin after all (and why is that the sort of image that’s more appropriate in a horror theme than a strangers to friends sort of thing?)

In any case, I think your way comes out as more…sincere. It’s especially hard to convey that without facial expression and auras and such to speak for you, but there’s something…clumsy about your words that screams honesty. And I don’t mean to be insulting, so I’m very sorry if it comes out that way! But scripted things feel a little less from the heart, you know?

Your last letter does seem bigger than the one before, and I can read bits of it if I concentrate hard enough, but that tends to give me headaches so I only read the part Junpei-san insisted I read. But since we’ve been responding to our letters sequentially, I’ll get to that part in a bit.

A side-effect from writing often, I guess. And writing on the move as well. The walk to and from school can be pretty boring, after you get used to the scenery. But it’s pretty hard writing and walking at the same time, so balancing that means my handwriting’s a little neater when I’m not moving and have something solid to rest my notebook (or paper) on. Or I read and walk. That’s far easier – though thank goodness I don’t get motion sickness! Things might not go so smoothly if I did.

About the photos… I still can’t make much out of them (though my eyesight has stabilised – finally! Now to wait for it to get better…) but Junpei-san compared the two and he agrees with the differences…and similarities. I’m not sure how I feel about that either. It’s bad luck to see your doppelganger, you know? Aside from that, what are the chances of two unrelated people looking so alike? I don’t think Kanbara-kun’s conspiracy theory is outrageous as you’re trying to make it sound…and you know that too. That’s why you keep on coming back to it. That being sad, I can’t be happy you’ve put this idea into my head either. My mother’s already told me she and my father are divorced – so if I do have a brother, why not tell me that as well? I don’t want to think she’s lied. She’s all I have. If I can’t trust her, then who?

But things aren’t just going to go away like that and it sounds like you agree with that sentiment as well, so let’s put this matter to rest once and for all…even if it is going to be slow with the once a week letters. ‘kaa-san’s full name is Kimura Tomoko – “Kimura” as in tree village, and Tomoko as in “Tomo” meaning friend, and “ko” meaning child or light. And that is her maiden name. Never asked what my father’s surname is. I don’t remember whether I mentioned it before either, and it’s not particularly worth checking on when I can just tell you again. I don’t know what that’s going to tell you, and to be honest, part of me doesn’t want to know.

Unless he’s got some sort of genetic defect in his immune system, I think your father wearing glasses is entirely irrelevant to the current conversation. But on the subject of glasses, ‘kaa-san doesn’t. Neither did obaa-chan when she was alive.

Intolerable subjects, huh… I wonder which ones I’d drop if I had the choice..? History and math, probably. Maybe science, though some parts are interesting. We’ll branch out more in the higher forms, so it’ll be interesting to see whether it’s a particular branch I’m interested in or just random exploitation. And on the subject of career planning, Junpei-san has his meeting next year. Then again, he already knows what he wants. How about you? Any ideas? Part of me wants to be a writer, but that’s not a very stable lifestyle. I need to be able to support my family before anything else…

True enough. Apparently it doesn’t, and they’ve done research on that (or someone has, in any case) so I guess they’re pretty confident in saying so.

You’d still need to be able to pick up the difference. Lie detectors must use something like that as well – but it’s possible to trick lie detectors, isn’t it? Or at least it is in books. Something about thumbtacks in shoes? But it depends on the person lying too, I guess. Some people are better liars than others – at least in the sense that less people are able to pick them out as lying. Some people say good liars are better at picking up lies, and others say it’s the people who are honest to a fault, so to speak. Which do you think is more likely?

Ichigaya huh. That’s pretty far away. Fair enough. It’s an interesting idea, playing a game like that for a living but I don’t think I could ever do it. I’d want to win too badly to enjoy it after a while. I prefer it when winning or losing doesn’t matter. How do you enjoy a game when something’s at stake? Especially when it’s something important? Sure, it’s not somebody’s life or anything like that…but this isn’t a world we can get by in (or, at least, once we’re no longer supported by our parents) without some source of money, and if that’s the job you’re dependent on to support yourself and your family, then… Well, people do it anyway so they must be able to balance that, or else they sacrifice enjoying a game for the cost.

I think it’s Through the Looking Glass actually. The sequel to Alice in Wonderland. Alice is a pawn in the story, and part of the solution is to promote her to a queen…or I think that’s how it went, anyway. It’s been a while since I’ve read the book, but it’s a fun read. So is Alice in Wonderland, but it’s rather mind-blowing as far as children stories go. Especially the Cheshire cat – which is my favourite character and the one who annoys me the most both at the same time.

Cold? At this time of year? That’s surprising, since it’s almost summer. On the bright side, that means no mosquitoes? Unless there’s some weird mutant that actually likes the cold… Not a big nature fan though? It’s a pity you guys didn’t get to enjoy your trip to its full extent. It really wasn’t a good time to go if more than half your minds are on exams. Exams themselves went rather well. They’ve printed out the exam in a larger paper, but I have to sit on my own at the back so none of the other students can see it over my shoulder. Not too sure why it matters since we’re doing the same exam, but that’s how it is, I guess. No curveballs so that’s a plus. Though I didn’t manage to finish the comprehension one and that’s not a nice feeling. How did your exams go? Will you have gotten your results by the time you reply or do they take longer than a fortnight to mark?

And it’s holidays now. The longest we get all year, too. Any plans aside from sitting home and melting as the temperature crawls up? And solving the mystery we’ve reluctantly found ourselves saddled with?

Kimura Kouichi


	15. Letter 15 (Kouji to Kouichi)

Kimura-kun,

Are you trying to take a page out of Takuya's book? I hardly think you go around teasing people normally – or that's not the idea I've gotten from your letters. Maybe the question you should be asking is whether I've gotten under _your_ skin – since I've got a legitimate reason to be worried and you kind of don't.

And I suppose if it were maggots crawling under the skin or something, or one of those psychological horrors where the character's scratching at themselves because they think there's something under their skin but there's not… Higurashi does that. Some characters die by clawing out their own throats, and there's one who does that repeatedly.

True enough, I guess. The more times you draft something, the less like the original heart-felt one it becomes. Unless you weren't sincere to begin with. Then there's nothing to make it sound more sincere, I guess. Unless someone's just bad at Japanese maybe.

In that case, I may as well go back to normal. It's faster that way, and no point encouraging you to get headaches. And are we seriously foreshadowing stuff? That's kind of ridiculous. Sure it's easier to follow when we reply to our letters in order, but it's not as though we have our old letters here to compare anyway.

You write as you walk? Don't you watch the road like you're, you know, supposed to? Or the sidewalks which are pretty important too. And do you even walk fast enough, or does a ten minute walk wind up taking you half an hour? And who knows. Maybe that's being generous. Though I guess lack of motion-sickness is a good thing there. Train rides can be pretty boring. Especially long ones that go too fast to enjoy the scenery, like with the bullet train. And I have no idea how 'tou-san manages to sleep through those, but I definitely can't. So I just wind up twiddling my thumbs. Takuya thinks that's the perfect time to play some board game instead…but play with who? I don't have a convenient eight year old brother who can't sit still like he does…and when you add that to the fact that he can't sit still either, well…

Good thing you've got a friend to act for your eyes. This is already frustrating enough! And yep, that matches the name on the marriage certificate. Too bad I wasn't born in Tokyo. Would've been good to hunt down the birth certificate as well. How about yours? And we're talking about doppelgangers? As far as conspiracy theories go, I'd say that's a less likely one simply based on the fact that it's paranormal. And I don't believe in stuff like that either. I might like reading the occasional science-fiction, but in the end we make our own choices and our own luck. I could've made more friends in school but I didn't want them, because I didn't want the bother of saying goodbye to them later down the track. That had nothing to do with luck, or anything else, no matter how much people say your first impression in a new class sets you up for being popular or not. As for the chances of two unrelated people looking alike, isn't your friend Shibayama-san the expert? If I had to guess, I'd say pretty astronomical. I wonder if our teachers knew something when they paired us up. The odds of that pairing happening are pretty low as well. If there's about thirty students in each class, then the odds are almost one in a thousand. On the other hand, this isn't the sort of family matter our teachers should have been getting involved with in the first place.

I can understand where you're coming from. It's not fun for me either, thinking my father might have lied, but things are lining up a little too neatly, don't you think? I want to just ask him and get this over with…but at the same time I don't. And then part of me wants to dig more, and another part of me doesn't… But at this point, I can't let it lie. It was too late since I looked at that marriage certificate… Or maybe it was too late when I sent you those photos.

I think it's going to take more than a name to do that, unless it wasn't a perfect fit. Unfortunately, it is, so either we hunt for more proof or we just ask. Knowing me, I'll get into an argument with my father and just blurt it out at some point. It's a good thing we can talk to each other – kind of. At least I know it's not just some conspiracy theory my brain's cooked up.

Back to lighter topics, I guess. No, I don't think so. He just wears glasses because he's short-sighted, but don't a lot of people do that? It seems rather common and it's not like a lot of people don't wear glasses.

I'll drop literature if given half a chance. But this topic just seems like a recycle of our first few letters. But yeah, branching out will be interesting. We can pick the subjects we're better at – or at least the group of subjects we want to pursue. But the classes will get a whole lot more competitive at that point as well. More people in those classes will be ones who want to do the subject and therefore will be putting in more effort. Or they'll just be plain smarter.

True, I guess. They couldn't risk something like that unless they were sure it wouldn't backfire. It would create quite an uproar otherwise.

Definitely is. They're not even admissible evidence (admissible in a court, I mean). I wonder if they're really worth anything in the end, because they're so easily tricked. There's a salt version as well, and the biting your own tongue version, and the lying through the controls and then everything sounds like the truth or something like that… It's rather silly, but it sounds cool so I guess that's the fan-base behind it. Not very practical or useful on the whole though.

Not if you live nearby, I guess. It's the main Go Association, so people serious about Go tend to move closer. Would you really? I can't say I've thought about it that deeply myself, but you sound pretty confident. You're not waffling, in any case, and that's a sure sign. Sounds like you've had personal experience in the matter… but you do play in chess competitions, don't you? How do you balance that? Then again, you thought of the sheet pretty quickly, so maybe you don't… And speaking of chess, this game really is going ridiculously slowly. Do you have an email? Maybe that'll make it go faster.

Close enough. What sort of name is that anyway? Looking Glass as in a mirror? First she falls down hole, and then falls through a mirror? And isn't the mirror fairy-tale Snow White? I thought those iconic Western stories are supposed to be easier to tell apart. Then again, there are wicked witches in quite a few of them: The Wizard of Oz, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty…

It was a bit, but we were warned to pack warmly so part of it was location, I think. Considering we've only been back for two weeks and we're melting now, maybe we were too quick to complain. Hindsight sure likes to rub things in. And no, not particularly. Quiet places like mountains are fine, but zoos aren't even big on nature. Just animals.

They'll be posted next week, I think. And 'tou-san's busy at work so not really. Takuya wants to go skiing, but that's a winter thing, not a summer thing. Maybe we'll just go to the beach at some point. Nothing in particular. And there's all the festivals in summer… There's a fireworks competition on the Sumida River, and an International Fireworks display in Yokohama, but Kyoto's got the big summer festivals like Gion. Any you go to every year?

Reluctantly? Well, I guess you've never been keen on knowing your father, but the silver lining in this is I've dreamed of having a mother, a real mother. Part of me wants all of this to turn out real and right, because that means I will get to know her in person instead of just a picture –

I'm an idiot. I have a picture of my mother right here on my photo frame. I'll get Takuya to take a photo of it and send it. Since he needs to buy new film, it'll probably be the letter after next. After all, more than one person can have the same name. Did you ever get around to reading Death Note? The Death Note is a book that needs a name and a face to kill, and the reason for the face requirement is so it doesn't accidentally catch different people with the same face.

Minamoto Kouji

**Author's Note:**

> Challenges (both apply to the entire collection):
> 
> Becoming the Tamer King Challenge, Sheer Valley Task – write something outside the normal prose  
> Diversity Writing Challenge, k12 – collection of oneshots over 1000 words  
> Valentines to White's Day Advent 2015, day 16 - blue rose: write a letter/group of letters
> 
> Intermittent chapters are also for the Endurance Challenge.


End file.
